How to Stop People-Pleasing and Reclaim Your Voice

Written By Julie Heaton

Many of us grew up believing that being agreeable makes us “good.” Somewhere along the way, we learned that saying “no” makes us selfish, difficult, or unkind. So, we bite our tongues, swallow our needs, and smile through it.

But here’s the truth: there is no award for people-pleasing.

Every time you silence your truth to keep someone else comfortable, you’re not keeping the peace—you’re abandoning yourself. That isn’t kindness. That’s self-erasure.

Reclaiming is the first step in the ROAR Framework: Reclaim. Own. Align. Radiate. It’s the radical act of remembering that your needs, boundaries, and desires matter just as much as anyone else’s. Saying no is not rejection—it’s affirmation. It’s the sacred act of saying yes to yourself first.

Why Reclaiming Yourself Matters

When you silence your truth for the sake of others, resentment builds. Over time, this leads to stress, disconnection, and even burnout.

Learning how to stop people-pleasing and reclaim your voice is essential to:

  • Building healthy boundaries

  • Strengthening self-confidence

  • Creating authentic relationships

  • Living a life aligned with your values

The Crone—my muse and guiding archetype—reminds us that this season of life isn’t about fading into invisibility. It’s about ignition. Reclaiming is where that fire begins.

How to Reclaim Your Voice in Daily Life

Here are three practical ways to begin reclaiming yourself this week:

  • Speak up in that meeting instead of nodding along.

  • Say no to the obligation that drains your energy.

  • Ask directly for what you actually want.

It doesn’t have to be dramatic. Reclaiming begins with one true choice at a time.

Affirmation for Reclaiming

I reclaim my voice. I honor my truth. I say yes to the life that is mine to live.

Repeat this affirmation daily. Words shape energy, and energy shapes action.

Journal Prompt: Reflection for Growth

Where in your life have you been performing or peacekeeping instead of telling the truth? What would reclaiming your voice look like there?

Journaling about these questions will help you identify where you’ve abandoned yourself—and where you’re ready to rise.

The ROAR Framework

This is the beginning of ROAR. When you reclaim your voice, you step out of silence and into your own power.

The ROAR Framework—Reclaim. Own. Align. Radiate. —isn’t just the foundation of my upcoming book, ROAR: The Sacred Rebellion. It’s also the basis for my upcoming classes, workshops, and resources designed to help you stop people-pleasing, set boundaries, and live unapologetically.

This is your sacred rebellion. And it starts today.

Want more tools for reclaiming your voice and breaking free from people-pleasing?
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Julie Heaton
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