The “Have-To’s” VS The “Get To’s”
"The purpose of life, after all, is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience." — Eleanor Roosevelt.
When you find yourself saying 'I have to' about anything, take a moment to uncover the 'I get to' in the action instead. This shift is not just a change in words. It's a recognition of your power to choose. 'I have to' implies helplessness and dread, but the truth is, you don't 'have to 'do anything. You always have a choice. As long as you're alive in your incredible body, you have the power to make small (or large) choices every day.
Every minute, you shape your future with the feelings you attach to your actions and decisions. Your feelings are the spark that ignites an outcome. If you're feeling dread, dismay, and horror at "having to" do something, that energy signals to the universe that you want more of the same. To change your future, you need to change your thoughts and feelings—starting with replacing 'have-to' with 'get to.'
While driving with my husband the other day, I was complaining about my "have to's," lamenting that I couldn't wait to be done with some obligations so I could start my life. I actually said those words! They came right out of my mouth. He gently reminded me that this is my life, and of course, he was right. I have built a beautiful life, yet I'm still a work in progress. His words resonated with me. I'm living my best life here and now, not "after" or “when” something happens.
You're spending time reading this right now, so thank you for sharing part of your life with me. Consider this: whether you're washing dishes, doing the laundry, or having great sex, it's on your dime. Every transaction is an exchange of your life's energy. This is life. It doesn't start when the dishes are done. Every moment is precious and should be appreciated—both the mundane and the exhilarating. That doesn’t mean you should never do dishes again; I say this so you'll recognize the importance of each task we have the privilege to undertake in this lifetime. Can you find joy in the task and be grateful you "get to" do it?
This is a vast reframe. Laundry, dishes, traffic—whatever the "have to" is, can you shift your thoughts and energy to "I get to?" See how it feels in your body to change the narrative. This simple technique opens your head and heart to explore all the gifts and miracles around you. To do a load of laundry, you need a washing machine, water, electricity, and something to wash, plus you need to be physically able to do the laundry. There are so many gifts in a tiny act.
When I pay my bills, I try to remember to be grateful to live in a time with refrigeration, lights, hot water, indoor plumbing, and heat and air conditioning. It's miraculous how humans figured out all these modern conveniences and delivered them to us in our homes. It's easy to take things for granted and think of them as a task to hurry and finish so we can do something "fun." Finding the miracles in everyday tasks allows you to enjoy more of your gift: time.
